How Do I Find the Perfect Church for Me?
You don’t. Next question.
Ok, sorry, it’s just that we’re asking the wrong question. But let me explain.
What we look for in a church
Let’s start with what we generally look for in a church. No. I changed my mind. Let me tell you what I sometimes have looked for in a church.
1) Do I like the music?
a. It’s got to have some hymns, but not all hymns. It needs some more current music as well. But the current music shouldn’t be repetitive. You know, those “worship” songs that repeat the bridge or chorus 17 times and think that making a key change somehow means they should do it 17 more.
b. Will there be songs that make it sound like Jesus is my boyfriend? Ick.
c. Will there be some songs that don’t require me to be at the level of an American Idol winner to be able to sing along?
d. Will some people raise their hands so I’m not the only freak? But not everybody all the time, that’s a bit much.
e. Also, the songs must be biblically accurate. But they can’t be songs written as if it is God or Jesus speaking, unless they are directly quoting scripture. It’s blasphemous to put words in God’s mouth that He didn’t say.
f. Finally, the songs have to be true and make sense. None of this ridiculous hyperbole that Jesus is your only desire, etc. Really? You never desire anything else? I don’t know about you, but pretty often on Sunday morning I also desire to eat lunch at a Mexican place with great chips and salsa.
2) Is the pastor good?
a. Does she or he keep me entertained with funny stories and quick quips?
b. Is the preaching biblically accurate (like the music must be)?
c. Does she or he not add stuff that’s not in the Bible or try to give Jesus weird attributes that clearly aren’t mentioned anywhere in the New Testament?
d. Does the pastor include the Old Testament and the New Testament?
e. What about not preaching too often from the unusually famous verses? Seriously. I’m SO over Jeremiah 29:11. Let’s get into when God turned back time way before Cher ever sung about it.
f. Do the sermons end in a decent amount of time? I’m still thinking about the salsa.
3) Is it easy to make friends?
a. Do they have plenty of small groups with some that I think would be cool that meet at a time that’s convenient for me?
b. Are the people friendly but don’t feel the need to shake hands with someone new? For real, I was a germaphobe before the pandemic caused everyone else to jump on the bandwagon.
I’ll stop now. The point of that exercise was to show some of the things we look at when choosing, or considering leaving, a church. Some of those points are good, others are simply preference or opinion.
So, What’s the Right Question?
We started out asking the question, how do I find the perfect church for me? But that’s not the question we should be asking. Here’s the right question.
How do I find the church God is calling me to?
That one is MUCH easier to answer. You find the church God is calling you to by getting and remaining close to Him. You and I, we can’t find the church God is calling us to, or calling us to remain at, if we aren’t close to God.
Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.
-John 15:5 NLT
Y’all, without staying connected to Jesus, we can do NOTHING! Including going to the church God knows is best for His mission. The Holy Spirit leads us in all ways, including to a church.
There Is No Perfect Church
Just a reminder, no church is perfect. Even a biblically accurate, Holy Spirit filled group of people sincerely following after Jesus can’t make a perfect church. Why? Because it’s a group of people. I know I’m not perfect, even though I stay close to God most of the time. That means any church I go to will also not be perfect. I’m sorry to tell you, that same is true for any church you attend.
Here’s the other issue and why there is no perfect church. How do you define perfect for a church? My guess is it’s different than how I would define it. If each of us had a perfect church it would be a church of one person. And of course, that’s not a perfect church in anyone’s opinion!
The Non-Negotiables in a Jesus Following Church
Let me give you the must haves or have nots for the LEADERSHIP of a true Jesus following church. You can’t make requirements for people who aren’t in some kind of leadership position, if you do, you’re excluding the very people Jesus wants to save!
1) Belief in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
2) Following the commands of Jesus.
3) Making the most important thing to God, which is finding lost people, primary above all other church activities.
4) Putting following Jesus as the most important part of their lives, even above “church work”. Then they will carry that into how they equip the people in the church.
5) GRACE BEFORE RULES.
Final Thoughts
I’m not going to tell you what church you should or should not attend. Go to a place where the non-negotiables are in place for the church leadership. But ONLY if you also feel the witness of the Holy Spirit in your spirit that it’s where He wants you. The perfect church for you isn’t about you. It’s not about me.
The perfect church for you is the one where God wants you to be to best carry out His mission in this season of your life.
If you’re miserable in a church, that may be the Holy Spirit telling you it’s time to make a change. But even if things are good in a church, that doesn’t mean God won’t take you somewhere else to bear more fruit for Him. Or perhaps He’s already got you exactly where He knows is best.
Here’s the bottom line. Go or stay, but don’t make the decision based on personal preference. Make the decision based on the witness of the Holy Spirit.
And just so you don’t worry that God will send you somewhere you don’t enjoy, let me give you a little encouragement.
Send your light and your truth to guide me. Let them lead me to your house on your sacred mountain. Then I will worship at your altar because you make me joyful. You are my God, and I will praise you.
-Psalm 43:3-4a CEV
God will bring His joy to you, wherever He sends you to serve His mission.
Love you Jesus follower!
-Troy
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