Why is Life So Hard?
This wasn’t the blog post I was planning to write. However, sometimes God has different ideas than I do.
Ok, this looks like a BIG question. You know what though? The answers (more than one) to the question Why is Life so Hard aren’t all that complex.
The Impetus for the Question
I was recently in a group of people who serve in a number of positions at a church. These are people who love God and love others, and they show that love in very practical ways on a regular basis. These are the kind of folks required to keep a church on a mission of creating fully devoted Jesus followers.
During the meeting we were talking about various aspects of our faith journey and the person leading the discussion asked this question. “What is the hardest thing for you to admit to God?” The person had an answer, and a few others had ideas as well…but I had trouble even processing the question.
Maybe it’s because I’ve spent years admitting my failures to God. Maybe it’s because I have no question of His love and desire to forgive me. Or maybe it’s because I have a complete aversion to the word “hard”…which brings us back to the question for this blog post, Why is Life So Hard?
For the TLDR Crowd
In case you just want the answers, because for you TLDR applies at this point, here ya go.
Life is so hard because:
· We live in a fallen world
· Other people make it hard
· We make it hard
· We decide it’s hard
That’s it, a nice and succinct. Feel free to go enjoy some classic Petra or Amy Grant now. Oh, do some of you want more details? Ok.
We Live in a Fallen World
Ever since the Fall of Man the world has been cursed because of Eve and Adam’s rebellion against God. People no longer live in the perfection of Eden, but rather we live in a world marred by sin and the resultant death.
There are negative aspects of life that we cannot control just because we don’t live in the ideal world God originally designed for us. Diseases, earthquakes, volcanos, tornados, floods, and many other “natural disasters” affect us.
There are poisonous plants and dangerous animals. We deal with allergies, bacteria, and viruses. Our bodies have imperfections and deteriorate over time. And of course, physical death is inevitable for all people, including ourselves and those we love.
Life is hard because we live in a fallen world.
Other People Make Life Hard
I remember a sweet woman who was going to college and working on a nursing degree. One day some young men came up to the window of her car and attempted to rob her of her purse. Apparently, she resisted so they shot and killed her.
She was an avid Jesus follower, and had been a great influence on me early in my Christian walk. But her life was taken when other people did a terrible thing. Many, many people were affected by the loss of her life. Even today, decades later, the pain of loss is still felt.
Maybe you have stories where someone caused you great pain either directly or indirectly. Abuse, mistreatment, abandonment, infidelity, disloyalty, theft, or even something unintended or accidental may have significantly affected your life. Sometimes people do horrible things to others. And sometimes you or someone you love is on the receiving end.
Life is hard because other people make it hard.
We Make Life Hard
I’m a sinner. Thousands of times I have disobeyed God. Some of those times had no known consequences outside of causing pain to the Lord and damaging my relationship with Him. Other times I caused pain to myself or others.
I’ve also done many things without thinking, while in a hurry, or just not paying attention. I’ve made unwise decisions and taken stupid actions, even in the face of good advice to the contrary.
I cannot count the number of times I have caused myself distress by my own words, actions, or inactions. More than anyone else, I cause trouble for me.
What about you? Are you a great source of difficulty to yourself? Do you cause a large percentage of your own problems? I’m guessing the answer is yes.
Life is hard because we make it hard.
We Decide Life is Hard
In the story at the beginning of this blog post, I made the statement that “I have a complete aversion to the word hard.” A few years ago I learned a life principle, and ever since I’ve been on a mini personal crusade about it. Let me give you a quote from Jesus, a personal story, and then I’ll share the life principle.
“And which of you by worrying can add even one hour to his life?”
-Matthew 6:26 NET
Jesus is letting us know that worry does not help us at all. In fact, we make life harder for ourselves by worrying about things that we cannot control. Studies have shown that 85% or more of what we worry about never happens, and most of the rest is easier to handle than we expected. Guess what, it’s even worse than that.
We make life harder on ourselves by deciding ahead of time it’s going to be hard. Now, let me be clear. Some things truly are hard. We’ve already mentioned several and where they come from.
Let me give an example from my own VERY recent experience of something that was hard. Last weekend I ran a 5K (3.1 mile) race. Now, I’ve been running for over a decade, and my typical running regimen is, 5K Tuesday morning, 5K Thursday morning, and a long run (5-13 miles depending what I’m training for) on Saturday morning. Every once in a while I register for a race, and so a few weeks ago I signed up for a local 5K. That’s a short distance for me. This race was for a good cause and in a place I had not run before. I was excited! My lovely bride warned me that the area was likely hilly, and asked me that morning if I planned to take it easy. I told her it was just 5K, but since I had not raced in a while, I wasn’t going to push too hard, however I still expected to finish in under 30 minutes with no problem.
So, the race starts, and it’s very flat. I’m not overdoing it for my current training level, but I’m also not going slowly. I ran the first mile at an 8:27 pace. Not bad for me. And then at about 1.5 miles I hit the first hill. It was challenging, but not terrible. Then I hit a LONG downhill…and knew I’d have to run back up it. Then another uphill. Then a very steep uphill loop. Y’all, it was all I could to not walk it as other people were doing. Next was the LONG uphill I already knew was coming. They put a lot of wicked hills in a 5K race. You know what? It was legit hard! I still did well with my time (26:11) and got a nice medal, but WOW. SO HARD.
Hard, But Not as Hard as It Could Have Been
Do you know what made it easier though? I didn’t worry that it would be hard before I started. I knew there might be hills, but I didn’t let that make me nervous or anxious. I’ve run hundreds of hills over the years, so I don’t worry about them, I just deal with them when they appear on the course.
Ok, ready for the life principle? Here it is:
Never expect something to be hard.
Here is the truth. You get what you expect. If you expect marriage to be hard, it will. If you expect parenting to be hard, it will. If you expect a test at school to be hard, it will. If you expect anything to be hard, it likely will!
Now, here’s what I am NOT saying. I’m not saying there won’t be hard things. Of course, there will be. But what I AM is saying when we expect things to be hard, they almost always will. And when we expect things to be hard then we worry, and now we have anxiety on top of the potential hard thing. WE make it harder than it has to be.
Life is hard because we decide life is hard.
So, What Should We Do?
Let me throw out a couple more quotes from Jesus.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
-John 16:33 NIV
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
-John 14:27 ESV
Here is how to deal with the truth that life is sometimes hard, but we make it harder than it needs to be.
1) Spend a LOT of time in studying the Word and in focused prayer. Since God has shown me ways to really engage with Him in His Word and how to have beautiful, powerful times of prayer, my anxiety has almost completely disappeared.
2) Accept the peace that Jesus offers. Peace is not automatic, just like salvation is not automatic. Peace is a gift that we must accept and cherish. When worry starts to creep in, move immediately to prayer, and call on the Lord to fill you with His peace, even while you tell Him you are accepting the peace He has already promised.
3) If you are dealing with a habitual sin, then stop. Take whatever action is necessary to remove the sin from your actions, mind, and heart. This will eliminate many of the self-caused hard things.
4) Forgive people quickly when they wrong you. How hard a situation is frequently changes when we forgive and let it go. Remember, much of what is “hard” is in our minds.
5) Do you best to be fully prepared for situations you may encounter. Preparation has a calming effect on anxiety.
6) Stop declaring things as “hard” before they’ve even happened. Saying something will be hard before it happens makes it hard in our minds before we even have the chance to discover it may be relatively easy. Stop using the word “hard” to describe upcoming events or situations.
7) Serve God and people more than ever before. God will bring more peace to your heart when you’re doing His will.
I hope and pray this helps you to have an easier life.
Love you Jesus follower!
-Troy Stoneking
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