How Can I Change My Habits?
Ohhhh, this is a GREAT question!
A lot of people want to change their habits. They want to stop doing something that’s not benefiting them or start doing something that will. This is especially valuable for the Jesus follower, because changing habits can quickly and, almost automatically, put you on a path to growing ever nearer to Him.
I’m here to tell you that God built into you ways to make these changes, and along with the power of the Holy Spirit, you can change habits wherever you desire to do so.
Changing habits is a simple process. Now, at this point you’d expect me to say, it’s simple, but not easy. Well, yes, and no. Sometimes it’s simple but challenging, other times it actually is simple and easy. It really depends on the habit and the type of effort you put into it.
Type vs. Amount
Before we get into the process, I want to make a distinction between the type of effort and the amount of effort. In his powerful book, Willpower Doesn’t Work, Dr. Benjamin Hardy makes the clear case that his title is a true statement. In habit change, willpower isn’t a good way to accomplish your goal.
It’s not putting in a lot of willpower that allows us to change habits, it’s not even the amount of effort we supply. Let me say it this way, habit change isn’t accomplished through hard work. You see, “hard work” in relation to habit change means we are trying to break (or start) a habit through sheer willpower and effort. That’s an inefficient and ineffective method. You don’t need hard work, you need to apply wisdom.
Wisdom here means figuring out what are the simplest, most effective ways to accomplish your desired habit change, and taking advantage of those. Rather than putting a huge amount of “hard work” let’s put in the right type of work to get the best ROHCI (Return on Habit Change Investment).
For the Jesus follower, you get your best ROHCI by working in these three areas:
· The Slave to Sin Principle
· Predecisions Precede Change
· Accountability Makes the Difference
The Slave to Sin Principle
Take a look at this quote from Jesus:
“Jesus answered them, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin.’”
-John 8:34 ESV
Jesus is giving us a very clear principle here. What you make a habit of you become a slave to. Especially sin, because it brings pleasure in the short term. You know, we like to blame the devil for causing us to sin. And sometimes that’s the case. He is the tempter after all. However, James also reminds us:
“But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.”
-James 1:14-15 ESV
So, we are tempted by our own desires. Which means one way to remove the temptation to engage in a habit we want to stop is to change our desires. And now you’re thinking, “Duh! I could have told you that. It’s my desires that got me into this predicament in the first place.”
Sisters and brothers, I know exactly what you mean. I’ve been there. But do you want a bit of encouragement? It’s a simple process to change your desires. Jesus told us, “Everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin.” Yes! We “practice” sin by engaging in it. But even if your bad habit isn’t sinful, you “practice” it every time you engage in it. So, to stop practicing we need to stop the desire. And how do we stop the desire? We stop practicing.
Wait, what?
Ok, before you get all mad at me, let me explain. You see, the appetites we feed grow and the appetites we starve shrink. If you’ve ever stopped eating a food you enjoyed, you 100% understand this principle. It’s often very difficult at first, but it gets easier, and fairly quickly. Why? Because God designed your mind and body to work exactly that way!
Here is the short life-changing truth. When you make the conscious effort to stop doing something, your desire to do it decreases over time. And, the opposite is true for a good habit. When you make a conscious effort to start doing something, your desire to do it increases over time. All habits, healthy, unhealthy, sinful, or not, are subject to the Slave to Sin principle.
But I won’t just tell you to stop it (or start it), even though that’s the third thing you should do. What is the first? You should always pray first.
Predecisions Precede Change
Here is the second. Beloved, I could, quite literally, write an entire book on predecisions. But let me just give you a quick definition:
Predecision: something you decide to do, or not do, before you’re faced with the circumstances in which you’d normally have to make a decision.
Now, at first glance, this seems to be a repeat of the Slave to Sin Principle. But the key difference is this. The Slave to Sin Principle is recognizing how changing our behaviors changes our appetites for our old (or new) habits. Predecisions tell us when to decide to change our behaviors.
Here is the secret sauce for predecisions. You don’t want to find yourself at the threshold of your temptation trying to decide to stop. No, when that moment comes, you want to have already decided what you will, or will not, do.
That’s it. Decide ahead of time what you are going to do or not do. Some examples:
I read the Bible every day.
I walk at least 20 minutes every day.
I don’t eat French fries.
Pick your habit, good or bad, and find a predecision that will support you in implementing and maintaining it. Let me know if you’d like to hear more about predecisions. I’ve used them (literally) for decades.
Accountability Makes the Difference
Here is a valuable truth from Proverbs.
“Just as iron sharpens iron, a person sharpens the character of his friend.”
-Proverbs 27:17 CJB
When I took up running as a serious endeavor, I got with a group of running friends at a local running store. In fact, I volunteered to be a mentor for both the joy of helping others and the accountability of being there for the group runs. With many habits we wish to start or stop, having someone in the fray with us, especially someone who has been through this same change, can be the difference between success and failure.
I won’t spend time belaboring this point. You know it’s true. But let me just say one thing more on this. Sometimes the habit we are trying to stop is embarrassing or we feel shame about it. In that case, find a trustworthy, sincere Jesus follower, and get them engaged. If it’s a sin habit you’re going to break, remember something else the Holy Spirit revealed through James:
“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”
-James 5:15 NLT
As you’re praying for wisdom and strength from the Holy Spirit, obey the Bible and get another, or a small group, of Jesus followers on your side, praying for you and encouraging you! After confessing to God and repenting, healing comes through confessing to a sister or brother who loves you and loves Jesus.
And that my friend, is how you change your habits.
If you have follow-up thoughts or questions, feel free to reach out to me directly via our contact form. Also, if you’d like to learn more about me and why I create all this content about following Jesus, check out my About page. If you love the content and would like to support this work, please visit Troy Stoneking (buymeacoffee.com). Finally, would you like to see a list of ALL our blog posts? Here it is!
Love you Jesus follower!