Why Can’t I Help Some People?
This will be a shorter than usual blog post. You’re welcome.
This blog post may also remove some guilt from your life. Again you’re welcome. 😊
If you spend enough time following Jesus and listening to the Holy Spirit, you’ll want to always help people grow closer to God. But you will eventually find there are some people you cannot help. There are four reasons you may not be able to help certain people. Let’s break them down.
Reason # 1: You’re Not Ready
Let’s be completely honest here. We often think we are more spiritually mature than we are. When I was a new Christian, I wanted to save the world! The problem was, I still had a LOT of growing to do. I didn’t come into this Jesus following thing with all my hangups suddenly gone. It took YEARS of time with the Lord, His Word, and other more mature Jesus followers to be ready to help some folks.
“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.”
-1 Corinthians 13:11 ESV
Now, I do want to point out that being a new believer does not preclude you from spreading the gospel. In fact, it’s often the joy-filled new believers who are the best evangelists! But there is a big difference between telling your salvation story and being able to help others who are in hard circumstances. I thought I knew enough, but thanks be to God for stopping me from ruining anyone else’s spiritual development because I was trying to help them from my own position of spiritual immaturity.
Reason # 2: They’re Not Ready
This is the other side of the coin. Let me give an example. There are some very specific teachings in the Bible about what is sin and what is not sin. But for a brand-new believer who is heavily entrenched (relationally, economically etc.) in life circumstances that are not biblical, it’s going to take some growing for them to be ready to hear truth that will completely rock their world…in a hard way.
“I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready.”
-1 Corinthians 3:2 NIV
If we push too much too fast, they will walk away from the Lord. Sometimes you have to rip the bandage off, other times you need to let the wound heal for a while, so the ripping is less painful.
Reason #3: They’re Not Interested
I have a friend who shall remain nameless. He says he wants help. He asks questions like he wants answers, but every response is met with another question or reason why he can’t change. He has established a position and doesn’t really want help, he just wants someone to complain to.
Please hear me on this one beloved. Do NOT let this person suck you into an ever more frustrating cycle of answering questions for which no answer will ever be sufficient. Provide resources and stay friends, but don’t let YOUR peace be destroyed by someone else’s desire to simply use you as a complaint bucket.
“So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.”
-Revelation 3:16 ESV
Love them, pray for them, be ready when they are truly interested in change, otherwise, do not engage.
Reason # 4: They Know Too Much
Ok, I know people who think they are following Jesus, but they’re not. They have been enticed away by worldly ideas or some major misinterpretation of the Word and are completely convinced that they are right. And if you try to show them the truth of the scriptures, they will either selectively use other scriptures to “prove” you’re wrong (the tactic the devil used try to and get Jesus), or they will get verbally abusive. Sisters and brothers, you cannot directly help them.
“In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.”
-2 Timothy 4:1-5 NIV
Some people’s hearts can only be changed by a long-term work of the Holy Spirit, and for us to step in would push them even farther away. For these folks it’s all about maintaining the relationship quietly and peacefully while continuing to pray for their hearts to be open to the Holy Spirit.
Beloved, here is the truth that we’ve already seen. People who are not close to the Lord can only be truly helped by the Holy Spirit. Sometimes that help comes through you and me, sometimes through someone else, and sometimes it’s direct divine work.
Our responsibility is to keep growing closer to Him ourselves, so we are ready when He calls us to help, and to know when it’s not our turn.
If you have follow-up thoughts, feel free to reach out to me directly via our contact form. Also, if you’d like to learn more about me and why I create all this content about following Jesus, check out my About page.
Love you Jesus follower!