How Can I Have True Love?
This is not a blog post about marriage. Well, not exclusively about marriage. We will talk about marriage, but that’s not the point. Here we go!
As of this writing, my lovely wife and I have been ECSTATICALLY married for well over 32 years (33 is just a few months away)! When people find out that we’ve been married for over three decades, and that we are still desperately in love with each other, it’s not uncommon for them to ask for the secret.
A Little Background
I’ll be completely transparent; I did not come from a history where happy marriages are normal. My parents divorced before my teen years, and there were many more painful breakups in my family. I don’t need to go further than that, you get the picture.
So, I did not have the example of a happy marriage to pattern ours after. Now, my favorite girl had the example of her godly parents, who were imperfect like all of us, but still loved each other dearly, beautifully keeping their vow before God of “until death do us part.” Sadly, her mother passed away before I had the chance to meet her. But I look forward to meeting the woman that was loved by everyone who knew her once I get to Heaven!
The Reason Marriages Die
Let me approach the key (it’s not a secret) to a life-long, joy-filled marriage. In fact, it is the same key to having an amazing relationship with any other person. Are you ready? Here it is:
Keep yourself as close to God as possible.
True love is found in only one place, the presence of our loving Lord.
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
-1 John 4:7-8 ESV
Do you know why marriages die? It’s simple, one or both people in the marriage is not centered on Jesus. Do you know why friendships end? Because one or both people in the friendship is not centered on Jesus.
Do you know why Christian marriages die? Because one or both people in the relationship is not centered on Jesus.
Everything in a great relationship, where true love flows, whether in a marriage, a family, or a friendship, comes from the same source, the love of God. “…whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
Do you see it? If you love, then you have been “born of God” (you have chosen to accept God’s free gift of salvation) and you “know God” (you have the Holy Spirit living inside of you).
Being Saved is the Beginning
Please hear my heart beloved. When we accept God’s free gift of salvation, that which was paid for by the precious blood of our Savior, Jesus, we are on the path to Heaven. But to have the kind of relationships we want with other people, we must first have an amazing relationship with God! And that sisters and brothers, happens as we take steps beyond belief.
When we first meet Christ, we love Him as our Savior. We celebrate how He has forgiven our sins, as we rightly should…just like all of Heaven does!
Does love end there? Certainly not! Salvation restores us in a right relation to God. This is the first and most necessary step. Nothing else matters if we do not have salvation.
But salvation does not bring us as close to God as we can be. That progresses as we make Him Lord.
Here is what we often miss as new believers, and what many churches do not teach or model well. After accepting salvation, we must learn to love like Jesus, and that only happens as we grow in spiritual maturity.
A (Mostly) Unspoken Topic
We live in an age where anyone thinks they can be anything by just wishing or saying it is so. Oh beloved, that is a complete lie from the enemy. It comes from the evil in our hearts to have what we want and not what God knows is best for us. God wants us to grow ever nearer to Him.
Have you ever noticed that many churches talk about discipleship, but often don’t explain the “why” for it? Let’s clarify something. There are not different classes of Christians. If we are saved, we are saved. But there are different levels of spiritual maturity.
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
-1 Corinthians 13:11 ESV
Dear brothers and sisters, when I was with you I couldn’t talk to you as I would to spiritual people. I had to talk as though you belonged to this world or as though you were infants in Christ. I had to feed you with milk, not with solid food, because you weren’t ready for anything stronger.
-1 Corinthians 3:1-2a ESV
We MUST understand that if we do not grow in spiritual maturity, we are not growing in Christ. And if we are not growing in Christ, we are not going to be fruitful for the Kingdom. Please don’t take this in a negative way, but each of us has a responsibility to never quit and always keep moving forward in our relationship with Jesus. Now, let’s bring this back around.
How Can I Have True Love?
The answer to the question, “How Can I Have True Love?” is simple. True love for God, and true love for others comes from the same source…God. But to really love God as He has designed us and planned for us, we must become more and more like Jesus.
The purpose of discipleship is to make us more like Christ. But why? So that the Holy Spirit can work through us to reach more and more people for Him!
Beloved, you and I are not worthy of the love of God. Except that we are because He has declared us worthy through the blood of Christ. And as we grow closer to Him, we become more able to be the conduit through which His true love flows.
True love is not something to be pursued from another person. True love comes to us simply by virtue of making the pursuit of God the main purpose of our life.
If you have follow-up thoughts, feel free to reach out to me directly via our contact form. Also, if you’d like to learn more about me and why I create all this content about following Jesus, check out my About page.
Love you Jesus follower!