Why Do I Feel Unworthy?
I was chatting with a friend recently who was having a bit of a crisis of faith. Here was the situation. Several people had told my friend that when she prayed, or sang, or encouraged them that she was a great blessing to them. She wanted to move forward into a place of service that could include one or more of those elements but was stuck. Why was she stuck? In her own words, “I feel so unworthy.”
The Question She Was Asking
She actually wasn’t asking “Why Do I Feel Unworthy?” The question she had landed on was, “I feel unworthy, so how can I serve?” Answering that question is not difficult, however, answering it would not have gotten to the root of the problem.
The answer to her question was, “Whether you feel unworthy or not, serve where you feel called.” Which leads us to another question, how do you know if you’re being called? I could spend a LOT of time on that one, but let me summarize it. The Lord speaks to each of us in three primary ways:
1) Through His Word
2) Through His Holy Spirit witnessing to our spirit
3) Through other people
Now, God’s Word wasn’t telling my friend not to serve. Quite the opposite. God’s Word repeatedly tells us to use our talents and resources, that come from Him anyway, to serve Him and others.
“Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it’s in your power to help them. If you can help your neighbor now, don’t say, “Come back tomorrow, and then I’ll help you.”
-Proverbs 3:27-28 NLT
But God WAS speaking to my friend, telling her to move forward into a new place of serving Him. He was speaking to her through other people. When a person, or in this case multiple people, tell you that your praying, singing, or other godly work is a blessing to them, it is a way God is encouraging you in that work.
Now, just because people are encouraging you in a godly work does not mean you should feel obligated to continue to do it or start a new initiative in that work. You need to determine if that’s the right place of service for you. We addressed that point in our article, Why Should I Serve at Church?
Of course, that wasn’t my friend’s issue. She wanted to serve, she just felt unworthy.
What Makes Us Feel Unworthy?
We can feel unworthy for several reasons. We may truly be unqualified, we may never have done it (whatever it is) before, we may know people who are much better than we are, etc.
My friend though, that’s not why she felt unworthy. And her reason may be the same one that often makes you feel unworthy. You see, in the moments of singing or praying that people so appreciated, she felt in tune with the Holy Spirit. She felt fully aligned with God’s purpose for her. But then later, when it was over, she doubted her worthiness. Why? Because her life wasn’t where she thought it should be for someone doing that work. Her relationships had issues. And people who don’t have perfect relationships aren’t worthy to serve God. Right? No.
Can I tell you what my immediate gut reaction was? Here ya go.
“Are you kidding me? Lady, nobody I know has perfect relationships. If perfect relationships were the requirement for serving God, there wouldn’t be a single church on the planet with a preacher in the pulpit! The stages would be empty, the instruments abandoned. No one would be taking care of the children, opening the doors, or cleaning the bathrooms of God’s church buildings. Don’t let this silly little issue hold you back. Seriously!”
Thanks be to God, the Holy Spirit kept my tongue in check. I appreciate that part of the fruit of His indwelling is kindness.
Why Do We Feel Unworthy?
Let’s get this out of the way. If God calls us to do something, we are not unworthy. God does not call unworthy people. In fact, if you are a sincere Jesus follower you are automatically worthy of His call. Do you know why?
“God made him, who did not know sin, to become sin for us, so that we might become the righteousness of God in him.”
-2 Corinthians 5:21 EHV
You are worthy of God’s call because you are the righteousness of God in (or through) Christ. When God calls us, and we declare ourselves unworthy, we are denying the gift of reconciliation God gave us through the death and resurrection of Jesus. So, let’s answer the question. Why did my friend, and perhaps why sometimes do you, feel unworthy?
We feel unworthy for one of two simple reasons.
1) We don’t think we’re worthy.
2) We’re listening to the wrong voice.
Truth be told, the first one is the same as the second. When we don’t feel worthy of something God has called us to do, it’s always because we’re listening to the wrong voice. Remember when we said God speaks to us in three primary ways? We talked about two, 1) through His word and 2) through other people. I intentionally skipped the one about His Holy Spirit witnessing to our spirit.
The Problem of Voices in Our Head
There are a few voices in our heads. Voices from people in the past, the voice of the enemy, our own internal voice, and the voice of the Holy Spirit. Voices from people in the past can have a positive or negative effect on us. Our internal voice can also be either positive or negative. The voice of the enemy is ALWAYS for our destruction. The voice of the Holy Spirit is ALWAYS for our good.
The problem with the voices is the default volume. The loudest voices in our head, by default, are the negative ones. The source is irrelevant, negative voices are naturally loudest. Encouraging voices are naturally quietest.
What we try to do is increase the volume of the encouraging voices. That’s the wrong strategy. The correct strategy is this: turn down, or off, the negative voices.
You feel unworthy because the negative voices are still playing at full volume. And until they are turned WAY down, you’ll never, or at least only occasionally, hear the quiet, encouraging voices.
But How?
There are a host of ways to turn down, or off, the negative voices. And for each of us the methods need to be tweaked to our individual, God-created, personalities. I’ll give you a few ideas.
· Shut off all negative media.
· Stop reading anything that induces anxiety.
· Step back from negative relationships…unless you are the positive influence, and you can clearly see the potential for change.
That’s not an exhaustive list, but it’s a start. Now, I told you not to worry about making the positive voices louder, but you can make yourself able to hear them more clearly. Again, here are a few ideas:
· Spend quiet, focused time reading the Bible.
· Memorize key verses that speak to you.
· Pray every day and continuously throughout the day.
· Get involved in an encouraging small group.
· Find a way to regularly serve in your local church.
Because of Jesus You Are Worthy
Here is the truth. On your own you are completely unworthy of serving God. But you are not alone at all.
“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
-Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV
God would not promise to be with you if He had not already made you worthy of His call on your life. Jesus gave Himself to bring you back to Him, and made you worthy simply by placing His call on your life.
It is the call to you from God that makes you worthy of carrying out His call.
Love you Jesus follower!
-Troy
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