What is THE Secret to an Amazing Relationship with God?
This question is one that many Christians are thinking, but not asking. Why aren’t they asking it? Fear? Lack of desire? Lack of belief? I assure you, after “How do I become a Jesus Follower?” this is the most important question for any person who wants to really obey Jesus and have a powerful impact for the Kingdom of God.
Oh, if you just want to coast in life as a Christian, then feel free to stop reading. But then again, doing so may be the path to Hell.
But, before we really get into the question, just a quick reminder that if you’d like to send in questions yourself and maybe get featured on a blog, click here for our Ever Nearer contact form.
First You Must Believe
It was about 35 years ago in a small country church. Now, I know that sounds like a cliché, but it’s true. The church was literally seven and a half miles outside of the nearest town, and that town had a population of fewer than 500 people. So yeah, a country church.
Through a set of circumstances only God could have coordinated, and a family who showed the love of Christ to a lost young man, that’s where I met Jesus. I was saved and on the way to Heaven.
My friends, I was on FIRE for God! He transformed my whole life, I followed Him to a new university, changed majors multiple times (not God’s fault 😊), and met my amazing bride. Life wasn’t always easy, but I was doing my best to be a good Jesus follower. Sometimes I failed. However, I believed in Jesus as my Savior.
But Then What?
From the day of my salvation until just a few short years ago something was missing. I was living a Christian life. I read my Bible fairly often, went to church very faithfully, loved my wife and children. I served on teams at church, my favorite girl and I led small groups and mentored engaged couples, we did all the things good American Christians do.
And yet…and yet, something was missing. Life was happening, we were growing older, the kids graduated and left the house, and I still desperately loved my wife, but I wasn’t happy. In fact, I was often miserable. Perhaps one day I’ll speak about the depths of that misery in a public forum like this, but that’s not the point of today’s post. Just know it was bad y’all. Really bad. Almost no one knew, I kept it to a very small number of people.
The truth is, I wasn’t enjoying the life that was promised to Jesus followers, the one Jesus Himself offered us.
“I am the gate. Whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out and find pasture. The thief enters only to steal, kill, and destroy. I came so that they could have life—indeed, so that they could live life to the fullest.”
-John 10:9-11 CEB
I had gone through the gate. I was saved. I was generally avoiding the schemes of the enemy. But living life to the fullest? No. Not really.
Where Most of Us Lost Our Way
Recently I heard a message that was directly applicable to this topic. It’s amazing how God always puts such things together. I am reminded of the following quote that is attributed to Albert Einstein:
“Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.”
But you and I, we know there are no coincidences.
Back to the message. The focus was on peace, and I highly recommend checking it out. During the message, the pastor, Mike Burnette, made an observation. He mentioned that there was a specific place where the church often fails. It’s not intentional, and it’s not true of every church. Even in churches where it’s not true, the failure still often happens, and when that’s the case, it’s on us, the individual Jesus followers.
Let me paraphrase of what he said:
The peace from Jesus inside us is always growing IF we are growing in Him. In the life of the Jesus follower there are two major steps. 1) Surrender your life to Christ and 2) Orient your life around Him. The second one is where the church often fails.
I know why Jesus followers frequently don’t have an amazing relationship with God. And I know it because I literally lived it for decades. Pastor Mike summed it up perfectly.
Why We’re Always Miserable, Defeated, and Bored
Where was the joy of the Lord in my life? Why did I almost scoff when I read the words of Paul to “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” I wasn’t feeling it. Again, I was a born-again Christian, saved with eternity in Heaven ahead of me, but in this life? It was miserable at times.
So much of life was a struggle, I felt defeated, just getting through the days was a chore. I often complained about my daily work. One time I said to my lovely bride, “I just wish this week was over.” She poignantly replied, “I’m tired of wishing my life away.” She was right…but what was wrong with me?
When I discovered the secret to an amazing relationship with God, it became clear why I was miserable, defeated, and bored in my Christian walk. It was simple. So ridiculously simple.
Do you know what the problem wasn’t? It wasn’t that I was wrong about salvation. My salvation was assured. I was right in that I was missing something, and the Holy Spirit had been trying to tell me for a long time.
If You’re Not Where God Wants You to Be…
A year or so ago one of our previous pastors, Zac Alvis, made a statement in the middle of the message. I frankly don’t remember the big idea of the message, but I know the point God had in it for me. Zac said, “If you’re not where God wants you to be, you will be miserable.”
At that point I knew part of my problem. We were in the wrong place physically. We had been in the same community for over 20 years, we had attended the same church, then a plant of the same church, the entire time. There wasn’t an issue with the church, some people were really growing, but it wasn’t where the Lord intended for us to be any more.
However, the secret to an amazing relationship with God isn’t about changing states, cities, or churches. It’s truly not. I’ll tell you the secret now, and then flesh it out more. Here is the secret:
Orient your life around God.
That’s it. I told you it was simple. And you know the sad thing? For all those years I thought I had been orienting my life around God. I mean for real. Shall I go back over the list?
“I read my Bible fairly often, went to church very faithfully, loved my wife and children. I served on teams at church, my favorite girl and I led small groups and mentored engaged couples, we did all the things good American Christians do.”
Doesn’t that sound like a life oriented around God? Seriously. How much more God-focused could a person be? It turns out that the answer is, a lot.
Bringing Back the Joy
Do you know how the revival in my heart started?
I was about two years ago when I stopped reading the Bible and began studying the Bible and making daily posts on insights I was receiving from the Holy Spirit. It grew like wildfire when I radically changed my prayer life. It got more powerful when I stopped caring what people thought and went all in with God. It became highly focused on Him and His actual mission when I let go of stupid arguments.
Each of the links in that last paragraph gives away part of the secret to my transformation into a Jesus follower who has an amazing relationship with God. All of that began without changing locations.
Do you know what has caused a very recent, exponential growth in my joy in life? Listening to the words of Pastor Zac. “If you’re not where God wants you to be, you will be miserable.”
We left everyone in our immediate family. We moved six hours away. New state, new church, new type of home. Just me and my lovely bride…and the God of the universe. We didn’t know anyone here. It was a little like Abraham following God’s call.
Don’t get me wrong, we miss our kids, grandkids, and many friends. But we are loving the worship, the messages, the opportunities to serve, and the small groups at our new church. We love the weather, the state, and the people. Most of all, we love that by obeying God, we’ve regained His joy.
But It Wasn’t About the Move
Can I make one thing very clear? The secret to an amazing relationship with God isn’t about moving to a new place. It’s what Pastor Mike said.
Orient your life around God.
The joy wasn’t because of the move. The joy was in the obedience to the Lord. The joy was in falling in love with studying His word. The joy was in learning how to pray. The joy was in talking about Him with other people. The joy was in making every aspect of my life about Him, celebrating Him, writing about Him, listening for and to Him. Becoming one with Him.
Why was I miserable? Because I was working to be the kind of person I thought God wanted me to be. That’s not the way to have the joy of the Lord. Please hear me sister and pay attention to my words brother. God isn’t looking for you to work to become the best Christian you can be.
God wants you to be close to Him. He wants you to draw ever nearer. And how do you do that? By making your whole life focused on Him. By orienting your life around Him. By seeking first His Kingdom and His righteousness. And that elusive joy you seek? It’s something that He will ensure is added unto you when you orient your life around Him.
I love you Jesus follower!
-Troy
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